High Maintenance

4 Mar

 Dr High Maintenance has been stressing me out lately.  His patients are never sick enough to transfer to ICU, even the ones with lactate levels > 4, tanking blood pressure,  and ensuing respiratory failure. His patients are never stable enough to transfer to medical floors even if the patient has no arrhythmia, is normotensive, and has no lyte imbalance. It is always admit to telemetry and stay there for days and days and days.

Dr High Maintenance writes pages and pages of illegible orders but the worse is : “Patient may shower” Because Dr High Maintenance produces Patient High Maintenance. What? Take a shower? I have never met a sick patient yet who wants to take an actually shower.  Well that will require the removal of the tele pack and if you want your patient off the tele pack then you can discontinue the telemetry monitoring and transfer to the patient to the medical floor where they will take out the IV catheter, there is no heart rhythm monitoring and there, and only there will your patient take a shower! Sorry Dr High Maintenance but we are busy in PCU and wrapping up IV catheters and showering patients is not high on the list of my nursing priorities.  I am to busy with my other 4 or 5 patients monitoring their cardiac medication drips, their hemodynamic stability on those medications, and the chest pain, and the anticoagulants, and the etc…

Dr High Maintenance why do you always admit every single patient of yours to telemetry anyway?

According to you we are all panic stricken nurses anyway!


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