Why I do what I do. I found out today.
On Friday, patient in acute “flash” pulmonary edema secondary to congestive heart failure and ischemia circles the drain in front of my face.
I looked at her first in the face. Confirmed the distress in her face. Forced her to look into my eyes and asked her to hold on, to stay with me, and that I could help her, but it will be fast and furious and no talking. (the connection has to be made in case the outcome is poor, for the sake of self preservation)
With the help of Attending Zorro MD–Pulmonary Especial in white (cape) coat and my comrades, the patient was stabilized with: Lasix, Morhine, Nitro, and BiPAP at the bedside. Impending intubation due to respiratory failure the patient safely transferred to Intensive Care to crash in a more controlled environment.
On Sunday my antagonist who actually happens to be my forever physiology and medical treatment mentor receives the same patient as ICU transfer
my world is rocked!
My mentor rejoices in “I have shown you the path young Jedi and on your own you have prevailed!” I am famous apparently!
I am in complete amazement.
Love. (what a word)
I immediately make my way to her bedside that is surrounded by family members and happy faces.
I see her.
And she takes my hand,
And tells me.
“You saved my life.”
“I could not breath.”
“It was like a tornado as soon as you walked into my room that morning.”
She pulled me closer. She hugged me tightly. I held on longer. Then went into the breakroom to cry by myself.
It was so emotional exacerbated by working shift work on no sleep, no food, and massive doses of oral caffeine in the form of coffee.
And that is the first time
And in full realization that not one person could really ever *save* one life that was not meant to be saved, but this time
And that has happened before with Nurse Fast Intervention.
but never before has it ever been remembered or sweetly reunited.
What a sweet reunion!
Those eyes of hers!
It is usually just “All in a days work” and blah. blah. blah. With conceited coolness.
Not This Time.
There is a humility here and the awareness that I was privileged to have the chance, the calmness, the knowledge, of what to do, how to do it, and the ability to relay that information to others, quickly. All quite naturally.
to get what I need for those who need.
Well, I just had to spread my infectious happiness.