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Cutie MD

22 Aug

Check for orthostatic blood pressure, laying, sitting, and standing once each shift. These are the best hand written cardiology orders we will ever see.


22 Jun

Click here to credit the artist of this piece, from deviantART. (naturally)

Help me, help me. I might be socially inadequate, but I know how to do my job. Try and talk to me outside of my job and I might look like that girl in the picture.


There was one very small spot of blood on the top sheet, and that my friends, is totally unacceptable.

he has hemorrhoids

26 Oct

While skating on IV poles down the floors all tired at work and wishing I was home napping, or that someone would come in and work the rest of my stable shift I get a phone call from my favorite man nurse.  I was so happy to see his name on my phone as I thought: Yesss he will come in and work for me !

He calls wondering why I was not at work the day before which was my usual scheduled shift and to tell me how terribly upset he was that I was not there working with him because

He worked twelve point five hours without me suffering because

He has hemorrhoids !

And apparently they are bothering him something awful and he had no one at work to talk to about this discomfort all day and he was feeling kind of lonely about it.

Talk about a whole other level of comfort. wow. Does he want me to give him a suppository or something?


25 Sep
Lasix 40mg PO bolus

Lasix 40mg PO bolus

20 meQ KcL PO

20 meQ KcL PO

I seriously think that all the coffee inducing diuresis* requires some sort of electrolyte replacement.
I am going to start monitoring my I/O.
Eternally nerdy.
as if i have time to pee!
*peeing your brains out.


15 Sep

During the 1860s workers at Alfred Nobels dynamite factory who suffered from heart conditions noticed that (opposite to most of us) their chest pains eased once they once they came to work. It was eventually discovered that nitroglycerin dilates the blood vessels, which provided relief from clogged arteries.

From: the complete idiots guide to Fun Faqs.

Nitro is cool.

IV lamps

9 Sep
These are so cool

These are so cool

I want one in my living room!

I want one in my living room!

Ok. I love my job. Call me  crazy but I think these mock intravenous pole lamps totally rock! Sure most house guest may not even realize the mock IV pole lamps but who cares! I think they would make interesting decor! They should have wheels though, that would make these lamps even cooler, but they are just ice as is. Found over here:

5 Stable Patients

31 Aug

I had one of those busy (with paperwork and other mundane nursing tasks that we have to do~ the kind of tasks that make me think *i would rather be starting IVs for everyone on the floor* than to do this paperwork.)

Anyway at 7pm I give report to one of the night nurses that I find is so emotionally bogged down into this weird pseudo-relationship that: if you pick me all the time and we are together since we work the same days~i will calm down and not be a total nut job while your trying to give me report (that is night nurse). So it has been a while seen me and emotionally bogged down night nurse and I have been together. Together= we both work 3 shifts in a row every week on the same days and sign out to each other, making the whole report process much quicker: just updates. Me and nut job night nurse on day 1: I give report on 5 stable patients. It takes 43 long minutes of our time. Then we do rounds. Rounds=we walk into the room, I introduce you, you see the patient is in no distress, I leave, end of story. Well nutty decides to have a conversation with all 5 patients while I am impatiently huffing under my breath, trying to be polite but oh so irritated.

I say good bye and nutty frantically shuffling papers says out loud: oh my night is so busy I wonder how many of these people are going to code tonight.


You have got to be kidding me or you need a new job.

5 stable patients.

1 nutty night nurse.