Tag Archives: strict I and O

ME and my favorite man nurse

13 Apr


A conversation.

Man Nurse: Umm…are you busy?

Me: Well I have to chart my I and O (intake and output very important.)

Man Nurse:OK me too. After that can you go straight cath my confused demented female patient for me? She ripped out her foley and Dr Dirty Coat just ordered a urinalysis/culture and sensitivity.

Me: I *love* you man nurse. I will do your straight catheter on your confused demented female patient and you can go wipe the backside of my 40 year old morbidity obese male patient who keeps calling on the call bell for me to give him his bed bath because he can not reach it.

Man Nurse: OK let’s go do both. together.

Me: Let’s go.

It really is so much better together. Really. Go team Nursing!

Why does it shrink?

12 Apr


Look at these cozies for urinal bottles. Give me a break!    Who in their right minds would come up with this crap. Ewwww…Germs. yucky.  The label says they are FDA approved and machine washable. Yeah right! We can barely get clean linens and chuck pads never mind the worry over who is going to wash and  supply urine bottle sleeves for what, patient comfort? Ewww…

RN + 80 year old male CHF patient on  massive doses of IV Lasix.

During morning assessment finds 80 year old male CHF on massive doses of IV  Lasix, at the edge of the bed, fumbling with the urinal, peeing all over the floor, looking perplexed and fondling his penis.

Looking at the pee on the floor and the nervous man.

RN-What is going on in here? (getting gloves and towels and pulling the curtain closed for privacy all at the same time)

Patient–Why does it always shrink in the morning?

RN–ummm…I am not sure about that. hmmmmmm…

RN to Cardio MD (later that day) umm…the 80 year old patient on massive doses of IV Lasix in CHF with strict intake and output monitoring needs a catheter. It apparently shrinks in the morning and pees all over the floor, so if you want the output measured in patient peed on the floor, just let me know.