Archive | April, 2009

Carlos (gang member) RN

28 Apr


Ha! My daily laughter.

sucky co-workers

25 Apr

Woow. I am still shocked. I have had this scene time and again with the same co-worker. The one who is always busier than you. One time I needed to hang blood that requires 2 RN signatures to check the right blood, right patient etc…as per policy for safety. I actually had the blood in my hand ready to go and as she was the first RN in sight I asked her to come with me. She said no!    wtf? Are you kidding me? Today I wanted to go to lunch and asked her to cover me, all my patients were stable. She said no! wtf? Her excuse was that she was doing an admission….yeah. whatever!

And she is the first hot mess always asking everyone for help all-day-long.

I have yet to come up with a name for this type of rare sucky co-worker.

but I will.

Yeah. She is a true gem. *vomiting in my shoes*

The emotional bank account

18 Apr

Does nursing self serve my needs as a person? I would not find that appropriate. We are here serving others. I get treated like poop a lot of the time, by patients who are to sick to play nice, and I understand. Or abused by family members losing all emotional control compensating by micro managing my time and demanding the impossible. For some reason unexplainable by me, half of my group the last two shifts have been showering me with all these great compliments! I have one tell me that my actions are so “fluid” and my face is “interesting and animated” … What a poet! Another gave me the speech that, I care for her wound with “gentleness”. Another how “special” I am. They all seemed so sincere and happy to see me this morning. Even a patient that is not my patient, remembered me from six months ago when I cared for her then, and she came out to the desk to chat with me, telling me all about her experiences.
I mean to express the wonder of how cool is that?
All of this drives me to work and labor for all the shifts wallowing in basic shit and mistreatment. Just for the days and patients like today.
This is a huge deposit in the emotional bank account labeled work.
Now, if I can just figure out how to get such equity into the personal emotional bank account… I’d be just super fine.


17 Apr

The nurse aide is telling me that my patient has a problem. She says his penis won’t come out to pee. She says she has to pull it out to help him get it into the urine bottle.

Inverted penis?


I have been seeing lots of urology issues lately.


Urologists are scary. Especially when they arrive with a three way garden hose ready to insert into some poor guys urethra. I’m like can we get some pain killers for him first? Maybe?

ME and my favorite man nurse

13 Apr


A conversation.

Man Nurse: Umm…are you busy?

Me: Well I have to chart my I and O (intake and output very important.)

Man Nurse:OK me too. After that can you go straight cath my confused demented female patient for me? She ripped out her foley and Dr Dirty Coat just ordered a urinalysis/culture and sensitivity.

Me: I *love* you man nurse. I will do your straight catheter on your confused demented female patient and you can go wipe the backside of my 40 year old morbidity obese male patient who keeps calling on the call bell for me to give him his bed bath because he can not reach it.

Man Nurse: OK let’s go do both. together.

Me: Let’s go.

It really is so much better together. Really. Go team Nursing!

Why does it shrink?

12 Apr


Look at these cozies for urinal bottles. Give me a break!    Who in their right minds would come up with this crap. Ewwww…Germs. yucky.  The label says they are FDA approved and machine washable. Yeah right! We can barely get clean linens and chuck pads never mind the worry over who is going to wash and  supply urine bottle sleeves for what, patient comfort? Ewww…

RN + 80 year old male CHF patient on  massive doses of IV Lasix.

During morning assessment finds 80 year old male CHF on massive doses of IV  Lasix, at the edge of the bed, fumbling with the urinal, peeing all over the floor, looking perplexed and fondling his penis.

Looking at the pee on the floor and the nervous man.

RN-What is going on in here? (getting gloves and towels and pulling the curtain closed for privacy all at the same time)

Patient–Why does it always shrink in the morning?

RN–ummm…I am not sure about that. hmmmmmm…

RN to Cardio MD (later that day) umm…the 80 year old patient on massive doses of IV Lasix in CHF with strict intake and output monitoring needs a catheter. It apparently shrinks in the morning and pees all over the floor, so if you want the output measured in patient peed on the floor, just let me know.

I love my job!

6 Apr

Why I do what I do. I found out today.

On Friday, patient in acute “flash” pulmonary edema secondary to congestive heart failure and ischemia circles the drain in front of my face.
I looked at her first in the face. Confirmed the distress in her face. Forced her to look into my eyes and asked her to hold on, to stay with me, and that I could help her, but it will be fast and furious and no talking. (the connection has to be made in case the outcome is poor, for the sake of self preservation)
With the help of Attending Zorro MD–Pulmonary Especial in white (cape) coat and my comrades, the patient was stabilized with: Lasix, Morhine, Nitro, and BiPAP at the bedside. Impending intubation due to respiratory failure the patient safely transferred to Intensive Care to crash in a more controlled environment.

On Sunday my antagonist who actually happens to be my forever physiology and medical treatment mentor receives the same patient as ICU transfer

my world is rocked!
My mentor rejoices in “I have shown you the path young Jedi and on your own you have prevailed!” I am famous apparently!

I am in complete amazement.

Sky high.

Heart elation.

Love. :heart: (what a word)

I immediately make my way to her bedside that is surrounded by family members and happy faces.

I see her.



And she takes my hand,

And tells me.

“You saved my life.”

“I could not breath.”

“It was like a tornado as soon as you walked into my room that morning.”

She pulled me closer. She hugged me tightly. I held on longer. Then went into the breakroom to cry by myself.

It was so emotional exacerbated by working shift work on no sleep, no food, and massive doses of oral caffeine in the form of coffee.

And that is the first time

I ever
those words.

And in full realization that not one person could really ever *save* one life that was not meant to be saved, but this time

it was.

And that has happened before with Nurse Fast Intervention.

but never before has it ever been remembered or sweetly reunited.

What a sweet reunion!

Those eyes of hers!

It is usually just “All in a days work” and blah. blah. blah. With conceited coolness.
Not This Time.

There is a humility here and the awareness that I was privileged to have the chance, the calmness, the knowledge, of what to do, how to do it, and the ability to relay that information to others, quickly. All quite naturally.

to get what I need for those who need.

Well, I just had to spread my infectious happiness.